It's Not What Good Girls Do
by kurisu christina
Summary: oneshot. It's something she can never have, but since when does Faye follow the rules?


**Disclaimer: I don't own the Secret Circle *sigh***

**A/N: So, I've been watching fanvids for Secret Circle as well as reading fanfics, and I've noticed that next to Faye/Diana, Faye/Melissa is one of the most popular couples… and honestly, I agree. They're so perfect for each other, plus it leaves Jake/Cassie and Adam/Diana, my other two favorite couples. What's not to love?**

**And yes, a Katy Perry song inspired this. Mock me not.**

It was something I couldn't have… someone I couldn't have. There were plenty of things I wanted that I couldn't have, like magic, or more power than everyone else, or even Jake, sometimes. I could deal with it, because my life held so many disappointments. It just wasn't fair that the one thing, the one person I wanted most of all, was the one I couldn't have no matter what.

The whole Circle, before Cassie, all though that I had anger issues. Maybe it was true… I got frustrated when I couldn't do a spell, or when someone ignored me. I snapped at unexpected moments. I was the bad girl, the firecracker, I was the flaw in the other normal Circle.

Maybe it was because I was different. I liked guys… they were good for using and then losing as fast as possible. Jake had been different, but the only reason I tried to hold onto him was because he never was mine in the first place. Now, the way he looked at Cassie, my stomach felt like it was full of boiling water. But it wasn't as bad as the other times.

When I had seen Melissa with Nick, that was when my insides twisted against each other. Melissa was the one that I couldn't have.

I sighed and got up to hide the bottle in my hand in my room. Mom would be home soon enough, and I was supposed to be at the abandoned house. I knew Diana would whine and judge when she smelled the alcohol on me, but I didn't care. She was just Diana… it would be Melissa's worried glances that would get to me. Not Diana's judgmental stares, not Cassie's skeptical frowns, not even Adam's "You-should-know-better-than-that"—Jake didn't count, he would only smile approvingly and wink at me—it would be Melissa's actual concern that would make me try to stop drinking for a week. I wouldn't, though.

I walked to the house, choosing the safer means of transportation. When I got there it was mostly empty. _Damn. _I was late, as always. Diana would probably be the only one left there, and then she would have all the time she wanted to scold me with as we walked home. "Hello?" I called anyway.

"Faye?" It wasn't Diana. It was Melissa.

"Melissa? Why are you still here?" I asked, coming into the main room and spotting her seated at one of the cluttered tables. She shrugged. "I was expecting…"

"…Diana?"

"Yeah." I sat down next to her and leaned over to look at the book she was reading. "Book of Shadows? Whose is it?"

"Cassie's." Melissa said, carefully gauging my reaction. "Just seeing what kind of spells her family could do."

"Mmmm… dark ones, I'll bet." I said. Melissa glared at me. "What?"

"You smell… drunk." She said, edging closer. I pinched my lips shut. "Faye…"

I shook my head.

"Faye, are you drunk? Did you drive here?" she persisted, sniffed the air near my face. I must have been more drunk than I thought, because her nose crinkled. "Seriously? Now? What if you crashed?"

"I walked." I said, suddenly frozen by her closeness.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, you walked. Faye, you need to get some control over your life."

"No." I said. "I'm fine." It was becoming harder and harder to say anything. My skin was heating up, my veins felt like they were on fire. "You keep me fine."

"What does that even mean? That's it, I'm driving you home."

I sighed as she got up and walked over to a shelf, rummaging around for her keys. I knew it. As usual, she was going to help me get home and make sure I was safe, and that would be it. I was never going to be able to show her how much I cared.

I was too scared to.

"Faye, get up." Melissa said, back in front of me. She nudged me. "You look really out of it. C'mon, Faye, let's go."

"Okay… but…" I stammered. Why was it so hard? "I just w-wanted to… I wanted to tell you that…"

Melissa groaned. "What, Faye? Is something wrong? Because you do know if we don't hurry I won't be able to sneak you past your Mom, since she'll be home."

_Damn it, Faye, do something! _"You don't understand…" It was too hard to say.

Melissa was clearly done with the mysteriousness and grabbed my arm. "You can tell me later."

_No, I can't._ I got up, defeated, and started to follow, when it occurred to me that if I didn't do anything now I would never do anything. "No, you know what? Screw it."

And then I was kissing her, and even though her eyes were wide with surprise at first, she didn't protest or pull away. When I finally let her go, she stared at me and said, "Is that what you were trying to tell me?"

It might have been the alcohol in my system, but I thought I saw her smiling. "Maybe."

"I'm glad you did."

The little spark of warmth in my chest became a flame, a raging fire. "Really?"

"Really. Now can we get you home?" the sincerity in Melissa's voice was all I needed.

"Okay."

**A/N: FAIL. FAIL! I'm sorry, I had to try… what do you guys think? Review, please?**


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